Night Visions Main

"We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.'" -- Ben Franklin

Codes: "IRL" = "in real life". "INV" = "in Night Vision", meaning untrue in real life. 

"Skip" means a sudden transition from one segment to another. "The 1250" references my childhood home, a (too) frequent setting for my visions. Josie is my daughter, and most of my life has been spent with Chicken and Alex as friends. Any other people referenced, past jobs worked at or life experiences are real unless otherwise noted. 



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Night Visions Hall Of Fame



(Dates of awakening listed)

Sound = Pound (September 4, 2022)

Things begin with me playing in the Novice Baseball League, where everyone except me is utterly terrible at catching and throwing the ball. When I make a couple of basic, routine plays, I'm feted over like some big star. Can't say it didn't feel good.

Skip to the 1250, where I listen to a live recording of The Rob, Arnie & Dawn Show while a tech pro works on When the tekkie bad-mouths some of my work, I promise to pound him if he makes another sound. He makes another sound a few seconds later; commence pounding. And by "pounding", I mean "landing punches with the strength and technique of a pigeon".

Things close with me ordering crepes from our local IHOP, only to watch some mentally ill guy park himself at my booth while I wait. When I stand up to grab a magazine, the same guy quickly steals my seat as well. WTF?! I finally get my crepes and take them to the patio, where—as I gorge—I happily re-watch One Life To Live's Todd get called out by Viki for essentially holding Marty prisoner.

Thanks For Not Killing Me, Rambo (September 3, 2022)

I work as a security agent at a downtown post office, and our task that day is cuffing and detaining anyone who enters the place for any reason. (???) Several innocent people, including my mama and a very perturbed Sylvester Stallone, are caught up in the sweep—the motivation behind which is never explained.

I Must Hallucinate Things (September 1, 2022)

Working at a trash dump, one of my young colleagues is more than a little difficult, but we won't let him quit since, to quote Law & Order's Cutter about Detective Green, he was "worth saving". But eventually he gets stuck on some machinery high up in the air; at that point we cut our losses and get on with our workday.


When the shift ends, I enter our co-ed locker room and encounter an old IRL classmate, who we'll call "Laurie". Just for the heck of it, I smooch  the heck out of Laurie—something I fantasized about back in the day—when she approaches to greet me. She's not upset.

I eventually return to the 1250, where some random old man expresses his desire to see Vanilla Ice's Christmas special. When I comment about having seen it myself, Gramps angrily replies "NO, YOU HAVEN'T!" Okay, then.