Night Visions Main

"We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.'" -- Ben Franklin

Codes: "IRL" = "in real life". "INV" = "in Night Vision", meaning untrue in real life. 

"Skip" means a sudden transition from one segment to another. "The 1250" references my childhood home, a (too) frequent setting for my visions. Josie is my daughter, and most of my life has been spent with Chicken and Alex as friends. Any other people referenced, past jobs worked at or life experiences are real unless otherwise noted. 



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Night Visions Hall Of Fame



(Dates of awakening listed)

No Driving Skillz (December 4, 2020)

Things begin with me at the 1250 taking on an out-of-control bowling ball whirring and attacking things. At first I hold it at bay, but when it makes contact with my shoe and rips it, I realize said ball now has blades and GTFO.

Next, I'm in San Francisco, reversing a boxvan up a steep hill. Eventually it rolls back down and nearly takes out Linda Cardellini and her son as they walk by.

Finally, I'm in my apartment parking lot, and somehow damage a neighboring car while parking. I find the owner and quickly pony up $150 in cash as other neighbors look on, obviously brainstorming how they, too, can get paid by me. I immediately book it.

(The last two visions are especially troubling, considering I'm currently attempting to land a delivery job. Here's hoping they don't come true.)

All Clean!!! (December 3, 2020)

In an SUV outside the 1250, old teammate Tito—who is a husky, hairy guy—takes a shirt of mine and wipes his entire nude body with it. He then calmly returns it to me, as if having completed a favor I'd asked for.

Could He BE Any Less Invited? (December 2, 2020)

Monica and Joey from Friends are planning their wedding. Chandler overhears them, and things get awkward when he can't find his name on the guest list. The couple confirms he is indeed not on the guest list, but quickly appease him by putting him in charge of the whole wedding planning.

At the 1250, I watch as Chandler argues outside with some European-accented ex of his. Somehow, he mentions the guest list in his car, and the ex immediately steamrolls toward his car and drives off with said list as he protests in vain. HILARITY!

2009 Topps #116 Omar Infante, Braves