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Night Visions, September 2019

Codes: "IRL" = "in real life". "INV" = "in Night Vision", meaning untrue in real life. 

"Skip" means a sudden transition from one segment to another. "The 1250" references my childhood home, a (too) frequent setting for my visions. Josie is my daughter, and most of my life has been spent with Chicken and Alex as friends. Any other people referenced, past jobs worked at or life experiences are real unless otherwise noted. 


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Night Visions Hall Of Fame



(Dates of awakening listed)

I've Got A Drinking Problem (September 30, 2019)

After taking a poo, I wipe myself with my uncle's old tighty-whiteys. The shame of doing so soon leads to me drinking my own urine.

Next, there's a One Life To Live female-on-male rape/kidnapping/hostage mystery, with me participating in the investigation as a "representative of the black community". Some boy swings a tool at me and I punch him in the nose twice, though it causes little damage. After a time, the case is solved, and Cedric The Entertainer lauds me in front of a large crowd. We eat ribs and pose for a pic that nobody ever takes.

Lastly, I'm MLB star Zack Greinke, in class but preparing to pitch. A test is assigned, but when I have absolutely no clue what the material is about I simply refuse to take it. Teacher: "You should see a psychiatrist." Me: "I already do!"

Go Ask Molly (September 27, 2019)

Actor Billy Gardell is a law enforcement officer who tries to intimidate me into sex. I get away and report him to the head of the MLB Players Association, Tony Clark, for some reason. Unsurprisingly, Clark can't/won't do anything.

Not Very Friend-ly (September 23, 2019)

It's a Friends episode; Rachel gives Chandler some heartfelt advice and he responds "Who the HELL do you think you are?" Next, I find myself at JFK's grave, at which several dead cats—and one live one—are now buried as well.

Shut Up, I'm Eating Fresh (September 15, 2019)

I'm with my ex closing up a Subway Sandwiches. When finished, a TBS TV crew emerges from down a hall and congratulates us on a job well done. I don't acknowledge.

Moments later, I'm in the process of closing up another Subway Sandwiches. At this one, several employees have gathered for a post-midnight partay, and I keep having to physically refuse entry to randoms who show up at the unlocked door. A hillbilly neighboring business owner gets in somehow and criticizes my work, and my eating a sandwich while she's expressing her criticism. I just keep eating.

Give Me My De-Paws-It Back (September 12, 2019)

My mother acquires a large new modern apartment, and invites me to live with her. After consideration, I agree to do so...until arriving at the unit to find many dog carcasses—some with just a mouth—strewn about the backyard like plants.

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