Night Visions, April 2017

Codes: "IRL" = "in real life". "INV" = "in Night Vision", meaning untrue in real life. 

"Skip" means a sudden transition from one segment to another. "The 1250" references my childhood home, a (too) frequent setting for my visions. Josie is my daughter, and most of my life has been spent with Chicken and Alex as friends. Any other people referenced, past jobs worked at or life experiences are real unless otherwise noted. 

 

 

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Night Visions Hall Of Fame

 

 

(Dates of awakening listed)

--(April 30, 2017)

I'm Andrew Bogut of the Warriors, who are losing bad in the 4th quarter of a playoff clincher. With nothing else to do, I just play superstar Tracy McGrady one-on-one off to the side. Later, after the game, I share a long emotional goodbye with Draymond Green, then in a radio interview with Jim Barnett, I remind the world that "I was the starting center when we won the title!" in response to being relegated to backup duty.

For some reason, the team is walking to my old high school to practice, even though our season's over. I'm so enamored with a seven-story building that my foot and leg close in the elevator doors.

--(April 26, 2017)

I win $5800 at a casino, which is mailed to me somehow. I give my mom and grandma several Benjamins each, but wind up telling my grandma off when she gets too snobby with her cash "YOU AIN'T S---. NONE OF US ARE!!"

Later, I'm glum despite having the cash, so I play with some Hot Wheels. My uncle plays with his own Hot Wheels, but he's about to be disabled because of his neighbor's nightmares. (?)

--(April 25, 2017)

I'm a member of the LAPD, which is in charge of a funeral in Vallejo, California, for some reason. A black man is dead and there's racial tension (even though it's unclear how he died). The LAPD boss has all black cops line up in uniform at a private prayer prior to the service, which takes place—where else—in the 1250 driveway. A mix of whites and blacks are all upset at the death, including one woman who takes it a little "too" hard.

--(April 24, 2017)

Outside a shopping center, NBA superstar Kevin Durant wants a burrito but has no confidence in my ability to make it. So I go home, where old pal Cory has talked me up to his boss...so, naturally, meeting me is a disappointment. So I head back to the shopping center, become aware that I'm dreaming, and proceed to feel up an attractive gal (who likes it). We talk on the phone, but I accidentally offend her just before hanging up.

--(April 18, 2017)

We begin with Malcolm In The Middle's Francis losing his toes in the backyard after not listening to me about cleaning them. Then Milhouse from The Simpsons gets caught in a (biting) shrimp net. Next, Stewie from Family Guy is sharing a tight backseat with another kid, exclaiming "I'M RIDING WITH A GOAT?!" Cut to Homer Simpson losing weight instantly without Bart, as he did in one IRL episode.

--(April 17, 2017)

I'm paying for groceries and decide at the last minute not to buy one expensive item. The idiot cashier starts loading all my other groceries into the go-backs cart, assuming I couldn't afford any of it.

On the walk home—with my full grocery cart—the sidewalk elevates almost before I notice; it's followed by a six-foot drop. But I'm hesitant to change direction/go around because a cop is nearby and might think I'm avoiding him. I awaken having resolved nothing.

--(April 16, 2017)

A mystery family, the Troskys, now inhabit the 1250. My aunt advises me that to keep living there, remember that they're sound sleepers. Then she gives me more "tips" such as which way to run when tossing live grenades. We then play baseball using Subway loaves as both the bat and ball.

Next, I'm on the "bench" (grass area in foul territory) for the San Francisco Giants. In no way am I ready to play, and fans refuse my foul ball gifts.

--(April 15 2017)

At high school, I find a wheelchair and take it to class. There, a b---- classmate huffily asks that I stop shaking the table, which I wasn't doing. Then the wheelchair owner complains about his chair and I snap and storm out; the b---- classmate sends my calculator flying out the door behind me.

Next, I return to class and get a call: a guy wants to taste-test some food at the canteen. Other guys dislike it; I compare it to ear sweat and everyone laughs. Hurrah.

--(April 18, 2017)

We begin with